The message from this essay was noted
The message from this essay was noted, but It ends rather brusquely with no solution, suggested directions or direct challenges dazed over, no checks and balances, no signs or activities we should stop trying, and you only made a brief mention of substitute standpoints. What do you want the audience to gain from reading this?
Overall though, this is a well-written essay needed in the society. It is well researched and nicely composed with rich metaphor; this will be a good review paper. With more significant change where you dig deeper into the complexities, a suggest a way forward, this could be a very influential paper. You, however, need to be bolder and more analytical. An opinion piece, yet I see little opinion.